Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The title of this blog is a quote from this book:

2009 is my year. I'm growing up, getting organized, and finally doing the things I know I was born to do. The first step to the book above is reading the introduction, pondering it for a few days, and creating a dream board. The dream board is just a poster board with clippings of words and pictures from magazines that represent your dreams and what you picture your life being like in the future. I'm also going to take before pictures of my house, just as a reference.

I've been drowning my entire life. When my husband came into my life it started my swim back to the surface. I eventually reached the top but to my horror it was completely solid with ice. all I could do was scratch at it while I slowly drowned. I had no idea why. I was so confused as to how I could work so hard and achieve so much and yet it wasn't enough. I still failed at everything I did. I could make a little crack in the ice but eventually it would just refreeze and I'd be stuck all the same. Now I know why. I'm paralyzed. I'm afraid that the ice will never break. At the same time I'm terrified of what's on the other side. What if it's not as sunny as I imagined. Maybe I'm better off down here with the familiar fish swirling around me. All this time I've been scratching and thrashing about, there has been an ice pick floating right beside me. Now that pick is in my hand and I'm ready to take the first swing.

This book seems to be exactly what I'm looking for. I'm scared to death of failing, but my fingers are bloody and sore from scratching so long. I'm ready to find out what exactly is above the ice. It may not be as sunny and warm as I want it to be but it certainly is better than this water that crushes my chest with cold. There will probably be pain, a few cuts and scrapes from the broken ice. No matter how difficult it may be, at least I know that after it all there's a fresh breath of air waiting for me.

Posted by Elyse at 2:51 PM |